Bitter Valentine’s Day Advice

Amanda Newby
Opinions Editor

Another year, another boom in revenue of red-and-pink items. Oh, and another Valentine’s Day.
Now, I’ve been accused of challenging traditions more than once, and I’m not one to break that streak. The two groups of people I’m calling out today are singles and couples. So basically, no one is safe.

Couples
The way I know someone is in a relationship on V-Day is that they’re complaining about spending lots of money on a date.
If you’re dating someone on February 14, you are one of the lucky ones. No one is going to sympathize with you.
Luckily, I’ll throw you a bone. I’m going to give you ideas for cheap gifts and a cheap date that will knock your partner’s socks off.

Cheap Gifts:

  • A poem. People love poems.
  • Something you’ve painted. Bonus: small canvasses go for less than a dollar at Walmart, and the smaller something is, the cuter it is.
  • A necklace with a key on it. Say it’s the key to your heart, or something cheesy like that.  
  • A homemade card. Doodle on it, write heartfelt messages, use mixed media. I’m talking markers, macaroni, maybe even emoji stickers.
  • The entire Bee Movie script.
  • Thrifted shirts, jewelry holders, etc. Places to prioritize: Plato’s Closet, Renew, Goodwill, etc.
  • A nice dinner. Go on the Food Network website or look up Gordon Ramsay recipes. Bonus: then you don’t have to pay for food.
  • Go the the Art Museum. It’s free, and you look like an introspective, cultured genius.
  • A mix tape/cd/playlist
  • Coupon book. One free hug, a date night of their choosing, etc.

Singles
I have a womanizer reputation to uphold, so keep this on the down-low, but I am one of you. I understand seeing (and hearing) people making out in the hallway and feeling your body fill with rage. I get crying at all the classic rom-coms. Trust me, we all get it.
That being said, posting about how you’re all alone again this year!! does nothing for you. Telling Twitter your woes isn’t likely to get someone to confess their undying love for you.
If you’re lonesome around this time of year, find a good friend to be your Valentine. Spend the day watching movies, eating candy, and wiping each other’s tears away.
Go on a friend date. Utilize the same list of cheap gift/date ideas I compiled earlier. Then, take a bunch of selfies together and show your respective crushes what they’re missing out on.
Whether you’re single or coupled this Valentine’s Day, don’t put too much stock into it. Have fun, eat good food, and then love people the same way the next day.

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