Best Friends share struggles

Kaley Walhart

Staff Writer

“Best friend,” defined by Google, is a person’s closest friend. The person who on the inside we feel we can connect with the most. A person who is supposed to stand by our side through thick and thin. Someone we share all of our secrets with because we know they wouldn’t tell a soul about past heartaches, current struggles, and future decisions.

best-friends-graphSix years is a long time – time filled with memories of the good, the bad and the ugly. Nights spent talking on the phone for hours upon hours because we hardly see each other during the school day. Days filled with laughter, joke and heck, even tears! But, the thought that some outsider can possibly replace us causes our hearts to crack as each day it becomes more likely than the last.

Sure we all joke and say “HA! I could replace you in no time at all.” or “You’re not my best friend anymore…she is!” But when we say it, we never think that it could actually be true, it’s just hypothetical in our eyes.

Now what we thought was hypothetical, has become our reality.

They start hanging out with a person who they’ve really only known for maybe a year and half. Then they quit telling us important events that are happening in their lives. They don’t tell us about their firsts, problems, or family-drama. When we do finally find out, it’s second-hand knowledge, something they told us after they told a person they’ve barely known for two years.

Soon they start acting differently – and yes, everyone changes in order to figure out who they really are. But at what cost? Are they changing because they want to have more in common with their new ‘bestie’ or are they changing because they feel it is what they truly want?

They become someone who treats their other friends, whom they’ve known longer than a year and a half, like they don’t exist when their new ‘bestie’ is around. Only when the newcomer isn’t around can we finally have them for a few days, but only for them to disappear again. We know that there’s nothing we can do about it, so why is it so wrong for us to feel abandoned? To feel replaced? But of course, if we are upset and mention it to them, they blame it on us being jealous and overbearing, when in all honesty we’re just worried. Worried they’re losing the path they tried so hard to pave in order to lead a fruitful life. Worried because we’re slowly losing our places in their lives. Are we wrong to be concerned? Are we wrong to believe that our friendship isn’t as solid and full as it was before?

A best-friendship isn’t about who has what and who’s doing what. It’s being supportive, reliable, and THERE for the person, especially when she’s thrown into a new world or going through a hard time. It’s one thing for her to invite our replacement to a group get-together. But bringing the replacement to a friend’s 18th birthday “party” when she isn’t invited?

That’s a low blow.

A girl shouldn’t feel ignored, scared, and like a third-wheel at her own birthday “party”. A girl should feel loved, welcomed, and appreciated by her supposed best-friend. Not treated like a holiday doormat that gets used and then stowed away until it’s needed again.

We all know that this is it, we’ve made it 6 years, we can make it through college and adulthood. That even though we make new friends, we can rely on each other to have our backs and not leave each other hanging.

But sometimes, even the closest of friends grow apart, and that’s one heartbreak that may never piece itself back together.

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