Relationship Goals: Putting Trust in Others, Self

Camry Thomas
Staff Writer

The high school years can stressful and hard as you try to balance your social life and school work. High school can also be a time where you are trying to find out who you are, and in the process of learning to love yourself. It’s always good to have someone by your side, it could be your boyfriend/girlfriend or a good friend. Having a healthy relationship is important to your development throughout the tough high school years.

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“…Friendships are the making of lifelong relationships. If it starts out faulty, it’ll end that way. But don’t be afraid when conflict arises and you have to analyze the relationships. In every good friendship or relationship, you have to tweak some things or negotiate because people grow,” advises Guidance Counselor Tracy Rozier. Photo Illustration by Sydnee Marqueling.

Having a significant other by your side during the your last four years of school is always a good thing to have.

“Having her by my side has helped me focus more on a school, and she encourages me to try harder.” says sophomore Parker Hills. Hills and his girlfriend, Jocelyn Layne, have been in a long-term relationship for over 2 years.

Having someone by your side is good because they could be a support system for you. They could help you manage your stress, and if you ever need to talk about something, they’ll be there for you. They can even help you throughout school, with your classes.

“When I was in math class and we were preparing for a quiz, I wasn’t able to understand what the teacher was teaching. I went to Parker, and because of him I was able to understand it.” said sophomore Jocelyn Layne.

But if you’re in a bad relationship, that might not be the case. You might not have the stable support system that someone else has. They may even be the cause of your pain in some cases.

The bad relationships in school could sometimes lead to a downfall in your academics. Grades could drop and you could fail your classes.

“When relationships go bad, students can become highly troubled. Their attention is not where it’s supposed to be, and because a relationship is going bad, a piece of them dies, and they aren’t themselves anymore.” said Guidance Counselor Tracy Rozier.

Always knowing the signs of a good relationship, and the signs of a bad one is a key element in high school, and they’ll be used later on in life. Being able to point them out, could help you in the long run.

“Honesty, loyalty and communication are key to a good relationship.” said Layne.

“You also need to go out and do thing with them. Plan stuff with them.” echos Hills.

In high school, having a bad relationship is not always clear. It feels wonderful to have a person care for us and often the dangerous hints go unnoticed.

“There are many signs of having a bad relationships. There’s constant conflict, the need to be dominant, rivalry. There are many features that lead to having you feel drained, and they need to having you feel unbalanced.” said Rozier.

Counselors help students deal with situations like these, and help them cope. People can then learn how to move on from the relationship, and can realize what they want so they don’t get hurt again.

Having someone love you and be by your side doesn’t alway have to be physical. It could be a platonic love. By just being a friend can help people in many ways.

“One of my friends helped me by showing me who people really are and helping me realize how fake someone can be.” said junior Emily Smith.

“She helps me a lot, too. There was one time where I couldn’t understand my homework so she ooVooed me for over three hours.” adds her friend, junior, Abigail Vanbuskirk. (ooVoo is a video chat app, similar to FaceTime or Skype)

Friends are also a way to maintain stability, by knowing that you’ll always have someone by your side, ready to catch you or bring you back up when you fall down.

Although you can have supportive friends, there are also toxic people who tear you down. You might not even know you’re in a toxic friendship, until someone points it out. “I’ve been in a toxic friendship before, and got out of it extremely quick.” said Smith. “I just felt so awful, because I really did try to make it work.”

Sometimes it’s not able to work out and the friendships cause more harm than good.

“I do help students who deal with toxic friendships. The first thing I try to do is figure out why they would want to constantly deal with conflict. It could be because they sort of enjoy the disfunction, because that’s their normal.” said Rozier.

My advice to them is that friendships are the making of lifelong relationships. If it starts out faulty, it’ll end that way. But don’t be afraid when conflict arises and you have to analyze the relationships. In every good friendship or relationship, you have to tweak some things or negotiate because people grow,” she added.

It’s always important to have someone by your side. No matter who it is. Boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend. Whatever the case may be, the fact that you know someone is going to be there for you, is a reassuring thought.

Through the ups and downs of high school, someone you can depend on and someone that you trust is always a good thing to have.

 

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